It's a New Year

Here's to 2009 and all the changes it will bring.

I can't wait!

Never too old

I suppose I thought it was another part of being an adult, losing the suprise factor of Christmas Day. I didn't mind so much, because adulthood means practicality in my mind. For example, I asked for winter boots for Christmas, but the snow comes before December, so Mom gave me boots for Thanksgiving. This is adult practicality. I got my Christmas present last month.

Now, stockings aren't included in this category, because with
Tony Thomas as Santa, you will always be surprised. This year:
Dr. Pepper LipSmackers...7th grade calling me back. Love it.

The recent trend has been gift cards and cash, both of which are welcome sights to teenagers. We spend money like it's going out of style, and these gifts keep us afloat. The giver might feel bad, like their gift is impersonal, but believe me, nothing screams "I love you" like a Visa Gift Card, valid anywhere Visa is accepted (which is everywhere).

So imagine my surprise when I open this on Christmas Day: the Olympus FE-340 (pictured below).

Red-hot, ultra-slim, 8 mega-
pixels, 5.0 optical zoom.
This is a sexy camera.

The idea didn't necessarily come out of left field; I'd asked for it for my birthday (along with a MacBook Pro and a hybrid car - the list wasn't entirely reasonable). When I didn't get it back in August, it slipped my mind. But my grandparents, the lovable Bob and Pinky, came through.

Thank you, Grandma and Grandpa, for letting me feel like a kid at Christmas. You've proved that you're never too old for a Christmas surprise.

Rest

This morning, I woke up at 11 o'clock with no classes, finals, projects, papers, presentations, meetings, or appointments looming over my head.

I have finished the most difficult semester on record and I survived.

In one hour, I'm leaving Wheaton for my very last Christmas Break. I plan on sleeping a lot, spending quality time with family, and surrounding myself with friends.

Then I plan on returning to Wheaton for my last semester ever.

It feels surreal. And it feels so good.

Psychologizing Myself

Psychologize, v.: to explain behavior in psychological terms. As in, "I'll tell you something, but don't psychologize it too much."
-- The Maggie Thomas Dictionary of Living with Psychology Majors

It should figure that in a relationship, you learn more about the other person than you do about yourself. (Don't test that thesis, it may not hold up, but it sounded good in my head). In my relationship, there was very little self-discovery, but the past month of singleness has been jam-packed with it.

Things I've learned about myself:
It is far more likely that I will blame myself for failure of any kind than take the appropriate amount of responsibility.

The women in my life are a life-giving support system. They hold up the mirror that reflects myself back to me, and interpret what I see or don't see.

All I really need is another person to come alongside me and light a fire under my butt once in a while. (thank you, sara beth).

I've found the disconnection between heart and head permeates every part of me, and learning to connect the two will be my lifelong challenge.

Memory has a powerful hold on me, and while that hold may never lessen, covering old memories over with new ones is my immense source of joy.

I've identified the 3 most important men in my life (Grandpa, Dad, & Jake), and in stepping up and stepping in, they have redeemed my sense of security.

Motivation comes easily when I set small goals for myself. I respond best to baby steps, one day at a time.

Things I learned that I didn't want to know but will make me a better person:

I'm a jealous person, especially of other's success.

I lack self-discipline, especially when it comes to working out. Pep Talks to yourself on the elliptical machine seem to remedy this, however.

I am overly critical, of my writing in particular, but also of unchangeable outcomes.

I am judgmental of other people. This is the worst one.

I am weak and imperfect, but I am a work in progress.

Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. -- Philippians 1:6

Goal of the week: run the Wheaton College Indoor Triathlon on President's Day (February).