sneak peek

Just a teaser of my new room!

I would much rather show you the whole house in person, so please stop by!
I'll make tea. We can sit by the fireplace and catch up on life.

a different kind of love

So it's Valentine's Day today. Day of the commercialization of love. Day of red and white and pink. Day of glitter and hearts. I'm certainly not complaining; it does the heart good to be cheesy sometimes. The card I gave Jon may or may not have had a glittery muffin on the front. (Two guesses what that was about.) Right, so cheesy can be good.

But on this day of romance I'm reminded that there is a deeper, truer love. Love that is sacrificial, not self-serving. Love that is merciful, not antagonistic. Love that is holy. Love that is from God.

You know what reminded me of that kind of love? This Starbucks coffee cup (for real):


That's got LOVE written all over it.

My anthem today: You were made by God and for God.

on moving out

This weekend, I moved out of my childhood home. As excited as I was, and as thrilled as I am, seeing the skeleton of the bedroom I once inhabited is nothing short of eerie.

There is a difference between leaving home to move to Africa and leaving home to move across town. In many ways, this is more difficult, because it's not just the place I've lived for the past 8 months, it's the place I've lived (on and off) for the past 23 years.

When I returned home from Nigeria with 3 suitcases, no job, and horrific culture shock leaking out everywhere, my loving family welcomed me back into the home I grew up in. The 4 of us haven't lived all together since 2005, so there were lots of things to get used to! What a blessing though, to have a safe place to land while I worked to get back on my feet (in all senses of the phrase). God has been good, and life has been rich - I now have the perfect job, a great church community, and terrific friends. What I thought was landing zone is really a launching pad!

Two of my oldest friends had a beautiful townhouse and roommate getting married, and I moved in yesterday, thanks in large part to my brother (and his biceps). It's a beautiful place in a really convenient location. And by convenient, I mean that there is a Chipotle, Noodles, Starbucks, Potbelly, and Thai restaurant within one block. ONE BLOCK. This could be dangerous.

I promise pictures, but not until after I get my dresser and nightstand. I'm sure you all can imagine what living out of suitcases looks like.

Here's to new opportunities and the imprint that a pale yellow house made on my life.

except I really do like it here

On the heels of yesterday's bittersweet post, please allow me to temper the bitter with more sweet. I truly didn't mean that I would rather be in Africa right now than stateside. Here's a quick indication that I'm grateful to be where I am:

Miami 2011

Vacations are where it's at, yo. I accompanied Jon on his work retreat and while he was in professional programming, I was on the beach, in the gym, at the spa, or by the pool. We also went sailing in Biscayne Bay. First time off since Thanksgiving (I worked Christmas Eve, trying to get the college open!) and I feel so very refreshed following our return.

Another reason I'm grateful to be on this continent? Girls' night tonight with some of my dearest friends, both old and new. We're getting our spa on. There will be chocolate brownies. And mango mousse. Please, no photos.

maybe you saw this coming...

...but I sure didn't.

I feel pretty separated from Nigeria at this point. I didn't think this would happen. Actually, I feared it would happen and tried to convince myself I could avoid it. As cold as this sounds, it almost feels like I've moved on.

The past couple days, I've been talking about Nigeria a lot: the circumstances that led up to my relocation, the strongholds that were broken in my life while I was there, the person I became, the discoveries I made, the life I led. I allowed myself go back to it all and dwell on it.

It's terrifying how far away it all seems to me. It's also unnerving how different my life is now. It's an exciting kind of different--thrilling, even--and I wouldn't change it or substitute it or even go back. It's just unexpected.

My friend Laura reminded me this morning of something I wrote back in June, a week before I left Africa:

Moments like these make me want to throw my hands in the air and ask God "Why this? Why now?" I'm sure he's got this all under control, but sometimes I'd really like to be let in on the secret.

It's starting to make sense to me why I'm back in the US, and I can't tell you how many times I've looked at friends or family and said, "I'm so glad we're on the same continent right now!" But the price I'm paying for that to be true is more costly and more painful than I anticipated. There have been times in the past few months especially that, had you handed me a ticket to Abuja, I would have gone without so much as a carry-on; I ached that badly.

But in this I have confidence: I am where I am supposed to be, for such a time as this.
I said the exact same thing about being in Africa, and it is no less true now that I'm in America.

To my Nigerian friends and family: I miss you more than I can say. God is still sovereign.