intellectual christianity

So I joined a Theology discussion group.

Which sounds really holier-than-thou but it's totally not.

Basically, it's like this: I loved my Christian Thought class in college. I learned about history, foundations, heresies, interpretations, schisms, denominations. It was more formative than any other class in shaping who I am--period--but also who I am as an intellectual Christian.

You know, intellectual Christianity: loving Christ with your head as well as your heart. (a.k.a. for the geeks out there [like me] it's not enough to serve God with a child-like faith, I want to be able to wrap my brain around it all, too.)

A year after I graduated, plus and minus a move to Africa, I found myself craving the Calvinist v. Arminian debate again, and went looking for discussion. I found it at Southland City Church's City Groups - they have an entire one dedicated to Theology.

I totally geeked out, you guys. I realized how much I wanted to engage with theology, ask big questions, search for big answers, and be humbled in that feeling-small way when I recognize how little I understand about God.

So tonight was my first night. We discussed the "birthright" the Jews have on heaven. Are they shoe-ins because they're descendants of Abraham? Have they given that up because they rejected Jesus as the Messiah?

We scoured Scripture - and I mean scoured. We pored over words and someone with the Logos software interpreted Greek and Hebrew terms. We looked at traditional interpretations and dissenters' opinions. Incredible. This is the passage I contributed to the group: Romans 11: 25-36:

Paul addresses this seemingly huge issue (which really takes up the whole of Chapter 11, for context) and breaks it down and states God's position on the issue, only to use his last breath of the chapter to acknowledge how omniscient God is. How God's judgment cannot be known by mankind. And ultimately, how the glory goes to God, regardless of the outcome.

I just want to be like Paul.

I want to have the ability and the passion and heart to discuss really hard things (like whether or not the Jews, God's people, today will inherit the kingdom of heaven promised to their father, Abraham) and I want to do it in view of my insignificance. In view of God's righteousness and in view of my inability to know how He thinks.

Essentially, Paul lays it all out there and closes with, "But I am not God." I want to be able to do that, too, in true humility.

I have a really long way to go.

And if you ever want to join me in that pursuit, the Theology group meets on Wednesdays.

let's play a game

It's called the Neck or No Neck game.

I'm torn over the concept of turtlenecks. I got a couple from Marjorie, but I just don't know if it makes me look neckless or not. The general concept is that I need a neck. Being neckless is not a desirable state, in my opinion.

So, calling all fashionistas: please evaluate the picture below. I need to know if this should be a regular contender or a one-time-only show, if you know what I mean.

where credit is due

My embarrassing post from yesterday really has another story. And I need to tell the other side of that story. It's far better, and more redeeming, than my stupidity.

So yes, I lost my keys. But in those precious few minutes of sheer panic ("Oh my gosh they could be anywhere in downtown Minneapolis!"), I had some really amazing people on hand.

Everyone, meet Spencer, Marjorie and Jon. ::Hi, guys:: Yes I used their real names and if they hate me forever and wish to remain anonymous and protect their internet identity, I'll just change their names to something really unbelievable like Bullwinkle or Guadeloupe.

OKAY. Not the point of the story. So I kinda tweaked a little when I lost my keys and maybe pulled at my hair and bit my lip really. hard. and muttered bad things under my breath. But there were really only two options: look for them and cry about it or look for them and laugh about it. And really only one of those is even remotely desirable.

So we looked. They dumped out bags of newspapers and pulled the cushions off their furniture and got down on the floors and shook coat pockets and hugged me and reassured me that it would be okay and we all checked my purse over and over and over. And in the middle of it all, someone cracked a joke. And we laughed. And it wasn't so terrible. And it was mostly okay. Which is what amazing friends are for.

BUT WAIT. It gets better.

Because when we resigned ourselves to the idea that the keys would not, in fact, be found that night, my thoughts turned to how I would get home. And just like that, Spencer goes, "You can take the Taurus." Just. Like. That. Not enough to offer to take me home, but to let me take one of their cars.

This is what amazing friends do. They put forth more effort than necessary. They give more than the standard permits. They complicate their own lives (however slightly) and go down to one car per family to help the idiot that lost her keys. And we laugh about it. Together. I am so inspired by these friends I have. And grateful. And humbled. And reminded that this is, once again, what it means to do life together.

This is community. And it is beautiful. And accepting of idiots like me.

the embarrassment continues

I thought that post on high-school-aged me was the most embarrassing one I've ever written.

I'm about to outdo myself.

As some background, let me just tell you I had the most amazing weekend. Twins game, good friends, good movies, good food, and lots of good laughs. Just a phenomenal weekend.

As the cherry on the top of that weekend is the tiny little detail that I lost my car keys last night.

Lost my keys. Do you know who loses keys? Ancient people who shouldn't be driving. And 15-year-old girls. And maybe also my brother.

Jake just did this a month ago. And when it happened to him, I laughed and thought, "Hmm. Maybe I should have a spare set made for my car. Whatever - I'm responsible."

Joke's on me.

The keys could be in any of the following places: Spencer and Marjorie's house, their car, Fogo de Chão in downtown Minneapolis, anywhere on the Nicollet Mall, the 38th floor of the IDS Tower, or Jon's car.

You know, one of those places.

What a great foray into adult life: phoning the Hyundai Dealership to find out how to create a car key from scratch. Watch me grow up realfast.

EDIT 3pm CST: My keys have been located at the restaurant. Thank God! My pride is restored!

Nigeria, get it together.

Today is the 50th anniversary of Nigeria's independence from Great Britain.

A friend emailed this morning to tell me of 2 car bombs that exploded in Abuja around 11am local time (5am CST). They happened near Eagle Square - a place I know, a place I could easily get to in a taxi.

Do you know what happened to me this morning at 5am? I was startled awake. Seriously, I was. If you knew how hard I sleep, you would understand that it was probably not coincidental.

Nigeria, you're killing me.

There are tears in my eyes as I read news reports and accounts. BBC said the first car bomb drew first-responders to the area, and 5 minutes later, the second bomb exploded.

Nigeria, what are you doing?

Today I proudly wear Nigerian traditional clothes, delighted in the strides made in the last 50 years, blessed to have spent a year of my own life there, grateful that I will always feel at home among her beautiful people.

But today I mourn the foolishness, the selfishness, the greed. I mourn that a celebration which could have united a people religiously and politically divided fell short of that goal.

And selfishly, I mourn that I am not there to rejoice with those who rejoice and grieve with those who grieve.

Nigeria, am missing you today ooo.