Relocation

For the duration of my time in Nigeria, this blog will be continued at:

MaggieInNigeria.blogspot.com

All systems go!

It's official! My counteroffer has been accepted!

I'm moving to Abuja, Nigeria in 5 weeks!


A massive thank you to the people who have been praying for me since I found out about this opportunity. I truly believe that now is the right time to do something crazy and I'm going to be obedient wherever God leads me. Thank you for praying for me!

I'll be updating here as I get closer to departure (somewhere around August 22nd), and once I'm in Nigeria, I'll be sending an additional email newsletter with updates.

I'm so excited!

Not a coincidence

Exactly one year ago, I wrote the following in an email to Amy, my college roommate:

"You and I were talking about how I was afraid I could never get to the mission field and now I have another reason to wait: student loans. Many missions organizations I've looked at refuse to send missionaries that are in debt. I'm not saying the loans are a deal-breaker, but it's just another hurdle that God will overcome if he wants me overseas after graduation. I'm still praying. God's plans are still bigger and better than mine."

365 days later, look where I am. Oh, Lord, you're so good to me.

Continuing Down the Road

I make my plans, but the Lord orders my steps.

I accepted the position in Nigeria on Friday afternoon with a salary counter-offer, and now I wait to see if this negotiation has been approved. The decision is out of my hands.

Truthfully, the decision was never mine, because the Lord orders my steps.

I was created for the purpose of His glory, and whether I do that from Nigeria or Chicago or Minneapolis, I seek only to be obedient. And EVEN IF the answer comes back "no," the Lord will reorder my steps as I continue in obedience. (see Daniel 3:16-18 for my favorite "even if" scenario).

My prayer is that the decision that comes back to me will bring definitive confirmation, one way or the other.

This is Nigeria.

To me, Nigeria is still a faceless place I've never been to. At least now I've connected a voice with the location. I spoke with the director of the school today and got more of my questions answered. I think I'm getting closer to making a final decision, but not before more prayer, fasting, and research.
This decision is complicated by the fact that this is so not a business deal to me. I'm not choosing this career path for the money, for the security, for the perks. This is more of a spiritual decision for me than anything else, and so I wait on God. In silence, in meditation, in song, in tears, in anxiety, in loneliness, in need, in trust and in faith I continue to wait on Him.

A few more pics of the strange new world I might move to.
Symbolic Geography:

The Presence of Islam:

Culture:

I'm falling in love with a place I've never seen.

About 6 weeks ago, I applied for a teaching job at an international school in Nigeria. The position didn't at all fit the profile of what I was focusing on (corporate, communications-based, in Chicago), but the "what if?" factor intrigued me and I sent off my resume. I figured I've been rejected for about 30 jobs so far; what's the harm?

5 weeks ago, I moved home to Minneapolis after a sudden and shocking job loss. It took me about a week to decompress and then, about 4 weeks ago, I got a response from Nigeria. International Community School is an accredited American international school and they have offered me a position teaching a combination of Moral Instruction, ESL, and English classes. M.I. is a non-graded discussion-based curriculum for all grades (K-12) which covers making friends, conflict resolution, AIDS, etc. ESL is the teaching of English to Speakers of other Languages for students who arrive at ICS with an insufficient knowledge of English. It's a 2-year contract (I have the option to choose 1-year renewable, too). And while the pros and cons are evenly matched at this point, my fears are of leaving everything I know and love here in the States; my fears are not of going.

I've been doing research and looking at pictures and imagining my life in this strange new place. It's new and exciting and I can't think of any other time in my life that I will be able to pick up and move half a world away. My heart has always been overseas, I just wasn't sure how that would manifest itself.

I think I've been afraid to talk about Nigeria here on my blog, or my Facebook or my Twitter because there's so much indecision and uncertainty surrounding the entire situation. I wanted everyone to know when I knew for sure one way or the other. But life doesn't work like that. I don't have all the answers and I never will and not talking about the situation doesn't make anything clearer. So I still have more questions than answers, and even though I haven't made a final decision about whether I'm going or staying, I'm talking about it. With anyone and everyone. And with no one, like here on my blog.

Feel free to talk back.

Life changes so fast.

This past weekend was full of love and friends, good food, and lots of rest for me. It ended abruptly with the loss of my job this morning. I feel quite sideswiped as I have worked very hard the past 2 weeks to make this opportunity a success, and then to have everything change so suddenly is very unnerving to me.

All that said, this is a good decision. It wasn't a good fit or a healthy environment for me to remain a part of, and I am looking forward to see how God will make this interesting. He certainly has my attention now...

Not sure yet if I'll be staying in Chicago. A lot depends on if I can find employment in the next couple days. I might head home for a while during the wedding season and then make my way back to this place I've come to love so much.

God is still faithful. Still.

How much do I love Lincoln Park?

Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much.

Seriously. This weekend has been true rest for me, the weary. And it's only Saturday afternoon!

Things that make this weekend perfect: college roommates, their sweet apartment in Lincoln Park, public transportation and the number 11 bus, friends in from out-of-town, dinner and drinks at a neighborhood Irish pub, Four Weddings and a Funeral, SATC, sleeping in (!), the ferris wheel at Navy Pier, and (maybe) a Cubs game!!!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Those blessings are named Sara Beth, Sarah, Hillary, and Kristi. I am at rest.

I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart

Today I woke up and set about my list of cleaning chores for the day. And in the middle of scrubbing dog drool off the walls of the laundry room, I was overwhelmed by the joy of the Lord in full force!

It was so unexpected, but I needed an attitude adjustment and my discouragement was replaced with joy.

Hallelujah.

New Beginnings

First, the obvious: I am a Wheaton College graduate! Graduation weekend was an absolute whirlwind, but my family was all in town so it was very special. Goodbyes were pretty tough, especially with the roommates. I have so taken that part of community for granted. They shaped the way I experienced Wheaton, and for that source of solidarity to end so abruptly seems cruel.

After moving out of campus housing (has it really only been 7 days?), I went on a retreat with the 6th graders from church. We had a blast with our team-building games, bonfires, girl talk in sleeping bags, capture the flag, and ghost in the graveyard. Oh, to be 12 again. The retreat was amazing, and I hope as meaningful to the kids as it was for me.

When the retreat was finished, I moved into my new digs in Elburn. It's a sweet house (I have my own room) and the couple is really cool. The first triplet came home from the hospital today, and I'm really anxious for the rest to make it home, too...can't imagine how their parents feel.

So my life looks dramatically different now than it did a week ago, and while that's overwhelming to me, I'm also looking forward to the freshness. 4 years is enough in one place for me. Time for something different.

the end is near

I feel like tomorrow is the culmination of the past 16 years of education. That is a really heavy weight to put onto one day, and it is finally beginning to weigh on me. I've known it was coming, and in so many ways, I've prepared for it, but today, it finally hit me that this is the end. There's a lump in my throat and a heaviness behind my eyes, but I'm not ready to cry quite yet. There are a lot of important things to do first: thank yous, goodbyes, cleaning, and packing (oh so much packing).

Politics Irritate Me

Apparently President Obama has cancelled the National Day of Prayer. Christians everywhere are up in arms over this oppression. Allow me to throw in my two cents: I'm glad he cancelled it.

In the past few years, the National Day of Prayer has been reduced to symbolic deism. Official events (i.e. the National Day of Prayer Breakfast) have not been conducted in the name of Jesus Christ, in fact, prayers offered on the National Day of Prayer are not directed to Jesus at all. For fear of rejecting another faith or giving offense, prayers are offered up to an ambiguous, unnamed heavenly deity. Since that is the case, I support the cancellation of an event that is no longer about the Christian God.

My second reason for supporting this move by President Obama is that America is not a Christian nation, and anyone who still believes this nonsense is fooling themselves. Nothing about the way we operate as a nation (whether our economic system, our foreign policy, or the nuclear weapons we maintain) is characteristic of Christian love. Since that is the case, I am happy to further the distance between our nation and the triune God. The more separated church and state become, the better our Christian witness (as the Church, not as a nation) can be. I want my faith to reflect my God, not my nation. I want my life to be a testament to the grace of God, apart from the actions and policies of the country I live in.

Don't misunderstand me: it is right to pray for our nation, for our leaders, for our national authority. It is also appropriate to plead to God for forgiveness for the ways this nation has taken advantage of our position and power in the world. Despite the cancellation of the National Day of Prayer, I do encourage my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to pray for this nation. Pray to the one true God, pray for President Obama, pray for blessing and forgiveness, but don't pray your prayers in the name of the state. Pray because you are a Christian and you believe that God is sovereign over all nations. Pray that Obama's administration would allow the Church to act like the Church apart from the state's power and authority.

My patriotism is subservient to my relationship with Jesus Christ. Always.

EDIT: President Obama has not cancelled the event, simply scaled back the government's participation in it. My feelings on the topic stand unchanged.

Paradigm Shift

For the last 2 days, I've been writing a final paper for an elective course called Media, Religion & Society. My topic is broad and unmanageable, I'm running out of time, and the research is far more captivating than the actual writing. In short, the paper is a disaster.

What's more, Shane Claiborne is wrecking me.

I picked up The Irresistible Revolution because I thought I could profile Claiborne's simple living community called The Simple Way as a corollary to the megachurch phenomenon so popular these days. And I don't even want to write this paper anymore, I just want to read the book! There is something so profoundly worshipful about their approach to community. Their bottom line is "small things with great love." What a standard to live up to.

I am also struck by the fact that they are successful apart from income. In fact, they live frugally (in the Franciscan sense - for real). And I'm being hit hard with this concept: Christians aren't called to be rich. They are not. It is not biblical. The kingdom of heaven belongs to the poor. And this, right after I have purchased a very nice car, secured health insurance, both things I "need," but not really.

I'm not overcome by guilt, I'm not going to rush out and join a simple living community. I'm not going to give away all my clothes, but I'm going to stop purchasing them. I have ENOUGH.

What I am going to do is to search for the hold that Brand Jesus (not the resurrected Son of God, but the symbol of the religion I have purchased through my American consumerism) has on my life, and eradicate its traces. If you want to know more about Brand Jesus, buy the book of the same title by Tyler Wigg Stevenson. It will not make you comfortable. Like Irresistible Revolution, it will comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable. It will open your eyes and you will probably have to wrestle with its contents, like I did. But your response will probably not be to write a 20 page paper on it. Your response will be more introspective and have more to do with self-discipline. Yours is the better option, trust me.

I'm not old enough for this

In the last 8 hours, I have arranged the purchase of my first car, secured a car loan to finance that purchase (after getting rejected by the first bank), obtained 3 car insurance quotes, settled on 1 (Progressive, hands down), and selected a health insurance policy. I also learned about collision and comprehensive coverage vs. liability only, and have fallen in love with my banker for approving a high deductible (cutting down costs, folks). And that was just today.

Even though my parents have been inextricably involved in this whole process and are veritable saints for their help, I still don't feel old enough for all this.

Surprised by Provision

Call me outrageously optimistic. Call me a glutton for punishment. Call me crazy, call me insane, but whatever you call me, call me employed!!!

I'm happy to announce that I have arranged full-time (albeit temporary) work here in the Chicago area! I'll be working as a live-in nanny in Elburn--25 miles west of Wheaton--from the end of May through Labor Day. It's not a traditional nanny job, but I'm very excited about it...

It's infant triplets! :)

The family is a young couple (talk about down-to-earth, enjoyable people!) and while I haven't met the babies yet, I really can't wait to work for them. And I won't be the sole care provider, since Mom is staying home, too.

There are some bittersweet moments in this whole deal, because I was planning on moving home for one last summer, but a job is a job and in this economy, I am very grateful for that. I will still be traveling back and forth to Minneapolis on the weekends especially in June for graduations and weddings. The positives are that I get to stay in Chicago with the ability to interview for permanent employment. I'm also close to my friends in the city and close enough to still be involved at Life Church!

I'm claiming Romans 8:28 for this time in my life: He works everything together for the good of those who love Him. Rejoice with me in His provision!

Making Decisions

A college graduate requires 2 things: a job and a place to live. I will be a graduate in t-minus 38 days, and I currently have neither a job nor a place to live.

Four weeks ago, I wanted to be an editorial assistant living in Lincoln Park.
Three weeks ago, I just wanted to be anything full-time living in Lincoln Park.
Two weeks ago, I wanted to be an admissions counselor in the suburbs.
Last week, I wanted to sublet in Wheaton for the summer to buy myself more time.
Yesterday, I decided to move home for the summer, so at least I can have 1 of the 2.

The goal is still to move back to Chicago in August so I can be around when Jake starts college at Wheaton in the fall. I just need more time to figure things out (and to save money).
I'm excited to have a "home base" for all the weddings and graduations and summer events, and to be in some place familiar. I'm also excited to have more time with my family and best friends, and to see my little man growing up (can't believe he's talking already!).
I'm disappointed that I'll be missing out on a summer with the college roommates and having to delay the "fresh start" I want so badly. I'm ready to put down roots somewhere, as Amanda says, to establish myself as a young professional on my own, and I really want that place to be Chicago. I'm just not capable of doing that immediately after graduation.

So get ready, Minneapolis. I'm coming home on May 17th.
And stay sharp, Chicago. I'll be back.

Writing Samples

BRIDGE program will connect low-income high school students with Wheaton
by Maggie Thomas
Staff Writer
Published: 4/18/2008

When Veronica Ponce first came to Wheaton, she struggled to find others who shared her background. Few students come from a low-income community or, like Ponce, are the first in their families to go to college. Ponce is now the director of the Building Roads to Intellectual Diversity in Greater Education Program (BRIDGE).
While specifics are still being formulated, the program hopes to bring low-income high school students from the Chicago area to live on campus and experience Christian higher education while living on campus. The first class of 20-24 students are slated to come July 5th-31st, 2009, and return for a second summer in 2010.
The general theme of the curriculum will combine social justice and Christian faith. A high school teacher will assign reading and writing assignments to the class based on lectures given by volunteer Wheaton College professors.
While in highschool, Ponce spent two summers at a similar program hosted by Stanford University (Calif.). This program invited low-income, high-achieving students from all over the country to participate in an environmental science-based program.
“Almost all California state colleges and private schools have some kind of summer program,” Ponce said, “The idea seemed normal to me.” Given Wheaton’s mission “For Christ and His Kingdom” and all the resources available here, Ponce wondered why Wheaton didn’t offer a similar program.
Since 2005, a committee of students including Ponce and current students Rebekah Moses and Anna Zimbrick, and recent Wheaton grads Dhiraj Masih and Robby Rotola, worked to draw up a proposal for such a program. It was approved in October 2007 and Ponce was hired as its director in December.
While BRIDGE is new to Wheaton, the type of program is not. In the 1990’s Wheaton hosted Project S.O.A.R., a similar program with a science-based curriculum. Dr. Stan Jones, Provost, said the program was funded by a grant from the Hughes Medical Foundation. Because of this financial source, Wheaton could not operate the program with a distinct Christian identity. When Project S.O.A.R. ended, all the students graduated from high school and continued on to higher education, but none of them here at Wheaton. “The program was not the best match,” Jones said. “It did not help us advance our progress in the area of diversity on campus. BRIDGE will have none of these limitations.”
BRIDGE’s mission is to fight an inequality Ponce says exists for low-income students: “[They] aren’t getting the help they need…and they’re not going to college unless they’re being recruited.” BRIDGE will provide excellent college preparation to low-income students, and increase the exposure urban communities have to Wheaton College.
While the volunteer professors used to provide guest lectures for the program have not been formally contracted, several have expressed interest, including Dr. Tiffany Eberle Kriner of the English department. “I believe Wheaton College has a commitment to a diverse student body as a representative of the kingdom of God” Kriner said, “and I am excited about assisting in a program to support increased diversity on campus.”
Ponce agrees that the program is a community-wide effort: “BRIDGE doesn’t exist on its own. We need professors, students, and staff that are willing to help.”
BRIDGE will be hiring 10 Wheaton college students as summer program staff to help the high school students assimilate. Applications for these positions will be available either the end fall semester 2008 or right away at the beginning of the spring semester 2009.
Recruitment of the actual high school participants will proceed when BRIDGE’s promotional materials are ready, hopefully by August of this year. Ponce said the program will recruit in local communities and churches. BRIDGE candidates will be selected by an application and interview process and evaluated on the basis of their Christian commitment, success in school, and low-income status. While the urban context is part of what the program seeks to include, Ponce said it is not a requirement, as gentrification and displacement in Chicago has brought low-income families to the suburbs.
Shawn Leftwich, Director of Undergraduate Admissions, said that though the BRIDGE program will help students adjust to Christian higher education, participating in the program will not affect students’ chances of being admitted to Wheaton.. Leftwich said the Admissions office hopes BRIDGE will “assist in increasing the pool of low-income urban students who would be prepared to attend any Christian college.”
From the committee in 2005 to the proposal in 2007, the BRIDGE program still has another year before the first session will begin in 2009. Provost Jones is confident that BRIDGE will be a success. “It will happen,” Jones said in an email, “we are now planning for implementation.”



Wheaton Alum Killed in Iraq
Maggie Thomas
Staff Writer
Published 4/22/08

Mark Metherell ’91 died in the early hours of April 11 in Iraq. According to his wife, Sarah, and best friend David Vanderveen, he was killed by a roadside bomb. Metherell, a former Navy SEAL, worked for the U.S. government as a civilian military adviser training Iraqi special forces. Metherell was leading a mission into Sadr City, 35 miles outside of Baghdad. He was 39 years old.
Metherell is the only Wheaton alumnus to be killed in Iraq, although Christian Skoglund ’00 was killed in November helicopter crash during a training mission in Italy.
While at Wheaton Metherell was a biology and literature major with a pre-med concentration. Although he was part of the class of ’91, Metherell did not graduate until 1992. He was a contributor to The Record, an editor for Kodon, and a member of the swim team during his freshman year.
Coach Jon Lederhouse remembers Metherell as a “versatile freestyler” who assisted Wheaton in the Conference championships of ‘87-‘88. Lederhouse also pointed to Metherell’s team spirit, which “continued to be a defining characteristic of his life.”
David Vanderveen, who was also Metherell’s college roommate, said he was so committed to being a doctor that he decided to stop swimming after freshman year. Vanderveen and Metherell were avid surfers and took many surfing trips together during their time at Wheaton, most memorably, to the Great Lakes.
Metherell was known on campus as a writer. Rob Bell ’92, founding pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church, nicknamed Vanderveen and Metherell the ‘warrior poets.’
“We had a lot of fun,” Vanderveen said. “We made fun of all the absurd things at Wheaton.”
During his final year of college, Metherell decided that he did not want to pursue medicine, but instead wanted the adventure of becoming a Navy SEAL, the elite special operations forces of the Navy. “He burned his bridges,” Vanderveen remembers. “He bailed on his MCATs—he didn’t even go. He was very determined that he was going to [become a SEAL].”
While Metherell’s college degrees would have helped him enter the military as an officer, Vanderveen said he wanted “adventure and he wanted to serve, so he enlisted to be a part of the SEAL missions.” Metherell always encouraged his fellow SEALs to go back and get a college education.
“The part of his loss that is rewarding is meeting people whose lives Mark changed,” Vanderveen said. “At his memorial party, there were these hard Navy SEAL guys coming up to me weeping. One guy is just finishing up his Ph.D. because of Mark.”
Metherell’s memorial service was held last Saturday in Irvine, California. Vanderveen is planning another, less traditional memorial. “We’re planning a paddle-out to Mark’s favorite reef to remember him at a place he knew well.”
Wheaton alumna Cathleen Falsani ’92 wrote a column in the Chicago Sun-Times eulogizing her college friend. “[He] embodied all the qualities I like to believe God possesses,” Falsani said. “Loving. Wise. Strong. Tender. Surprising. A friend who is listening and watching even when we aren’t aware of it.”
Metherell cared deeply for his work in the Middle East. “He had a huge heart,” Vanderveen said. “He wanted to make sure that when he left, they [the Iraqi special forces] could stand on their own two feet.”
“Most of us go through life wishing we could figure out what we’re here for,” Vanderveen continued. “Here’s a guy who got it figured out and did it to the best of his ability right up until his death. We’d all be lucky to spend our lives the way he did.”
Mark Metherell is survived by his wife, Sarah, and their one-year-old adopted daughter, Cora.
Lieutenant Colonel Benjamin White, Professor of Military Science, estimated that 25-30 Wheaton graduates are currently deployed in the military.



Demanding Answers for Richard:
The cause of the Minneapolis Bridge Collapse remains
unknown to victims’ family and friends.
By Maggie Thomas
2/21/08

When Minneapolis’ Interstate 35-W Bridge collapsed last August, we wanted to know why. We asked questions of the construction company, the National Transportation Safety Board, and the governor. No one seemed to know why and we are still lacking a complete answer. I want to know what part of the bridge malfunctioned yes, but I also want to know why an innocent 20-year-old boy with Down Syndrome, my classmate Richard Chit, was killed.
The last time I saw him in high school, Richard was walking down Jock Hall, normally occupied by athletes and cheerleaders. On that day, the last day of the school year, Richard greeted other students with hugs and high-fives. His face was shining, a reflection of the joy he brought to those who had the privilege of spending time with him. When I saw his face again, it was a picture on the 10 o’clock news, naming him the bridge’s 6th victim.
In his Legacy Guestbook, an online memorial sponsored by the Minneapolis Star Tribune, Richard’s high school teachers described him as “one of the most precious people that anyone could ever know.” Others commented on Richard’s love for his family, his high school football team the Jaguars, and the Minnesota Twins baseball team. While each offered a different memory, they all considered themselves lucky to have known Richard and his love for life.
Unfortunately, I am not among the lucky. Being a special education student, Richard was not in any of my classes or extracurricular activities. While I was not afraid of Richard and his fellow special students, I did not search for opportunities to be around them. The school at large was very receptive towards these students; that same year, we proudly crowned a mentally disabled boy as our Homecoming King. Still, I did not make time for interacting with these students. Instead I made excuses. And now, I think I missed out.
In the days following the collapse, I paid special attention to the news, listening for names I recognized but afraid to hear them. My best friend Amanda and I were cooking dinner one night when our conversation turned to the bridge.
“Did you see the final list of victims? I think one of them went to Jefferson with us. Richard Chit – he had Downs, remember?” We watched the news later and there I saw his shining face and kind eyes.
I have had few interactions with death in my life, and each remains vivid in my memory. Learning of Richard’s death will stay with me forever. My mourning the loss of Richard Chit occurred mostly by proxy of those who knew him better, but I am still decidedly affected with a sense of disappointment and injustice.
When it happened, Senator Betty McCollum of Minnesota declared my obvious feelings: “Bridges should not fall down in America!” The National Transportation Safety Board Chairman Mark Rosenker made promises: “We will determine the probable cause…make recommendations, and help restore public confidence that this kind of accident will not happen again.”
“Never again” is a good promise, but it doesn’t change what already happened. I am still embittered that Richard lost his life, and no promise will restore him to us. That anger and hurt has been recently refreshed by the NTSB’s inconclusive report on the cause of the collapse. Even though the official investigation is still ongoing, Chairman Rosenker still cited faulty gusset plates as a critical factor in understanding what happened. Minnesota Representative Jim Oberstar criticized this choice, calling it inappropriate to identify a possible cause and rule out another cause without complete information. When Oberstar confronted him, Rosenker softened his comments to appease those who felt his early conclusions were irresponsible.
As of now, a final conclusion is pending, but expected later this year. Those of us still needing closure, like the family, friends, and acquaintances of Richard Chit, will be forced to wait as the months drag on.



Vaccine for Sexually Transmitted Infection Available on Campus
Written by Maggie Thomas
November 17 2008

There’s a new sexually transmitted disease in town, infecting millions of people worldwide. But the human papillomavirus (HPV) isn’t a recent discovery at all; what is a recent discovery is the link between HPV and cervical cancer. In fact, Harald zur Hausen of Germany just received the 2008 Nobel Prize in Medicine for his work with HPV and its causal connection to cervical cancer. In 2006, the FDA approved the Gardasil vaccine for women, which guards against four strains of HPV: two that cause 70% of cases of cervical cancer and two that cause 90% of genital warts. While the vaccine is praised by doctors as a preventative measure against cancer, the Gardasil advertising campaign exhorts parents to vaccinate their daughters so they may be “one less” woman affected by cervical cancer. Critics, however, especially those in the Christian community, believe that the vaccine appears to condone premarital sex by “undermining abstinence teaching,” as Lindsey O’Connor of Today’s Christian Woman said.
What’s surprising is that the vaccine is available to Wheaton students. The Wheaton College Student Health Center offers the vaccine with the following explanation: “It is wise for Student Health Services to carry and inform female students that [the vaccine] exists.” But the Center for Disease Control (CDC) maintains that the virus is transmitted sexually, not through handshakes or toilet seats, as rumor may have it. Consider the transmission method as compared to Wheaton’s Community Covenant, a lifestyle agreement that all students and employees of the college sign prior to entering the Wheaton community. Some of its directives include “[to] uphold chastity among the unmarried…[and to condemn] sexual immorality, such as…premarital sex…and all other sexual relations outside the bounds of marriage between a man and a woman.” Is a vaccine for a sexually transmitted disease counterintuitive to the lifestyle Wheaton College students agree to uphold?
Before making a decision on the morality of the Gardasil vaccine, it is crucial to understand the nature and effects of HPV. HPV is, in fact, the most common sexually transmitted infection. According to the CDC, approximately 20 million Americans are currently infected, and another 6.2 million new infections will occur every year. It only takes one exposure to the virus to contract it, and least 50% of sexually active Americans will contract HPV at some point in their lives. Furthermore, HPV causes up to 98% of cervical cancer cases.
As for the Gardasil vaccine, it is intended for women aged 9-26, administered at least 7 months prior to becoming sexually active. While the vaccine targets 4 specific strains of the virus, over 60 strains exist and 15 of those have been attributed to cervical cancer. The vaccine is administered in 3 doses and costs around $350. Most insurance companies will cover this cost as preventative care. Britt Black, Health Center Director, gave her opinion of the vaccine: “The vaccine has been on the market for almost three years…I believe it is safe.”
For many young women, the decision to be vaccinated is based on personal cost, side effects, risk and prevention. Black encourages all females deciding whether to be vaccinated to visit the Health Center: “The visit is free and the nursing and physician staff can help dispel fears, misnomers and also assist in knowing whether [Gardasil] is right for them.” While Black acknowledges that this personal decision must be made on an individual basis, she also upholds that “God’s ultimate design for sex is that it only be shared between man and wife.”
Despite the moral issue at hand, senior Sara Beth Bock was very open about why she chose to get vaccinated. “A lot of it has to do with knowing that the majority people will get some form of HPV in their lifetime,” she said, “and I’m not going to limit my choice of marriage partners by their sexual experience. To be able to have a vaccine that could prevent most developments of cervical cancer, it’s kind of like a ‘Why not?’”
Senior Kristi Larned opted against the vaccine because it “guards against sexually transmitted diseases and I am not sexually active nor do I plan to marry someone who has been. I don’t need it and it also poses risks to me, so why would I receive the vaccine?”
The risks Larned mentions is a reference to the 9,000 documented cases of adverse reactions to the vaccine itself. That number includes 27 deaths since September 2007. The reported adverse reactions range in severity from fever and dizziness to anaphylactic shock and grand mal convulsions. In comparison to the millions of women vaccinated worldwide, however, many are not concerned by the percentage of adverse reactions. Black confirmed that “most side effects [to the vaccine] are local, meaning redness at the [injection] site.”
Ultimately, the decision must be made on an individual basis after considering all the potential risks and potential benefits. Wheaton students are encouraged to visit the Health Center for advice and/or vaccination. Though some women may balk at the moral implications of offering the vaccine at Wheaton College, the reality is that Gardasil guards against a virus that causes cancer. That hope has many women cheering “One Less!”

Celebrating Small Victories

In the face of my overwhelming future options, it's really nice to claim tiny moments of success.

Yesterday I completed my second triathlon. This one I did for me. I didn't have my security blanket running every step of the way with me (although Jake was there in spirit - I wore his t-ball t-shirt from kindergarten). I wasn't in a lake, I wasn't on Mom's bike, I wasn't running in the forest preserve back home, I didn't have my iPod workout mix. Nothing about this race was familiar or comfortable, but I completed it anyway.

The race was scored by distance, not by time. And my personal goal was to log 6 miles in the 3 events. I finished with 7.68.

So it wasn't a marathon, and it wasn't Olympic distance, and I didn't win anything, but I didn't come in last place and I beat my personal goal. I did it for me this time, and there's a lot of power in that.

And maybe, just maybe, it was a little bit for the person who told me I didn't have a high energy level. I might have done it to prove to myself that I'm not who he thought I'd become. I might have done it to prove us both wrong. Maybe just a little.

Fear is not the natural state of civilized people.

I try really hard to not shoot daggers at the person who asks "What are you doing after college?" Sometimes I fail at this.

I wish I could say that, with less than 100 days until graduation, I know what my plans are. Oh, how I wish I knew. Everyone's telling me how many options I have, but it's that very idea that is so crippling to me. If I had only one or two really good options, I could go all Type-A and OCD and write a list of pros and cons and figure it out, even if it came down to a coin flip.

But I don't have one or two options, I have about a hundred, and last night I should have stayed up and done some more research and applied to more jobs and looked into the employers I'm meeting with on Friday, but this inexplicable terror seized me and all I could do was close my computer and go to bed. I went to bed! Because I can't deal with how my life is about to change! Does anyone else realize how counterintuitive that was?!

I am not afraid for life after college. I'm really not. I'm pretty sure I could do just about anything for the first couple years. It's the not knowing that kills me.

Thoughts on Marriage

I'm finally sitting down to Lauren F. Winner's book Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity. She came to chapel at Wheaton 2 years ago, where I sat in the back row of the balcony and cringed; she was talking straight at me. So now I'm finally getting down to what she's getting at, and I'm surprised. I'm surprised by how sensible it is and how receptive I am to it. So here's the passage that keeps bothering me:

"The reasons we give for delaying marriage are entirely understandable. We want to make sure we know ourselves...We want to see the world, or finish college, or graduate from law school before making a time-consuming domestic commitment to another person....
But these impulses, while perhaps laudable, speak to a distorted understanding of marriage. The anxious parent who wants her college-aged daughter to postpone marriage rightly recognizes that people change a lot in their early twenties. But what that parent perhaps fails to recognize is that there is no point at which we can be sure. There is no age at which we truly know ourselves, and there is no length of courtship after which we really know our sweetie. To underscore that making a marriage is not about making an informed, rational calculation is not to suggest that in an ideal world, high school seniors would marry arbitrarily and hope for the best. It is not to join the chorus on Christian college campuses that sings about having a 'ring by spring.' Rather it is to remember that marriage not merely an exercise in finding the perfect mate; though the companionate marriage has reigned triumphant for these last two centuries, marriage is not only about companionship. It is about children, and household economy, and stability. And marriage is also about God. No matter how clearly we see ourselves and our fiances, marriage will prove difficult. We will both change. We will argue, and feel broken, and wonder why we ever married in the first place--and it is God who will sustain us in those spells." (emphasis mine)

So this passage keeps haunting me, and while I feel twinges of regret at not having read this earlier, I've more importantly come to my own conclusion that I was wrong. I've been assaulting myself with this idea that I have no business being in a relationship until I really know who I am, until I can be fair to the other person by being confident in myself as an individual. This, stated plainly, is crap. At least I think it is.

As Winner reminded me, who among us is ever really sure of ourselves? Which of us can stand at an age and say, "Now. This is who I am; it will not change."? I cannot do that, and I will not because I know I will continue to change as I gather life experience and wisdom. As caught up as I've been in this idea of companionate love and being truly compatible, people change anyways. If they're compatible now, they may not be in another 5 years, and vice-versa. Maybe if I'd read this 3 months ago, my life would look different now. Then again, maybe not.

Not to be prideful, but...

I made the Dean's List this semester with a 3.81 semester GPA. And I'm just really proud of this achievement. It's not the first time it's happened, but this semester was especially difficult for so many reasons that I feel especially victorious.

I made an A in Journalism and Drugs & Society and A-minuses in Public Health & Nutrition, Spanish American Literature, and, most importantly, my Senior Seminar in Writing. I wish I had the time and energy to detail what exactly made each class kick my butt so thoroughly, but the fact remains: it's all over, and in the end, I won.

Welcome back, self-esteem. It's good to see you; it's been too long.