As optimistic and hopeful as my last post was, life isn't all sunshine and rainbows.
Life is also the gritty messy bits, too.
Life is the gritty messy bits.
Today has been an extraordinarily difficult day.
I can't pinpoint exactly how or when it crept in, but I have been absolutely flattened by homesickness for Nigeria this evening. I'm a mess right now. Lots of tears. It's not the missing phenomenon, either. "I miss..." would be an impossible fill-in-the-blank at this moment.
It's so hard to put words to this! I don't have the vocabulary for the emptiness I feel. I'm angry and I don't know why, and I don't think it's fair to be angry, and I don't know where to direct my anger: myself? I chose this. I chose to leave.
It's just this; as in, this is all there is:
I don't feel comfortable in my own skin right now, and I just want to go home.
1 comment:
xoxo... don't be afraid to let out these emotions in person, my dear. I have never experienced culture shock, but I give good hugs. :) Remember how one day you will have One Home where so many of those you love with all be fully alive together? Awesome.
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