I feel like I should write something current-event-y, like a protest piece against burning the Koran, or my reactions to the Video Music Awards.
But I can't. I can't get out of my own head, and my head is Nigeria right now.
Are you tired yet of hearing about my homesickness? I'm tired of it, too.
I'm tired of feeling like I lost all the great things about that culture. It sickens me that my fears came true: I have forgotten who I was there. It's frustrating that I have to try so hard to keep Nigerian cultural norms a part of my American social life. I wish it became second nature.
That's a lot of words saying very little. Let's do an illustration or two:
In Nigeria, time was fluid. I didn't worry if traffic kept me from being someplace on time. If I showed up late to meet a Nigerian, there was no offense taken. They didn't think to themselves "Oh, I must not be a priority to her. She didn't care enough to arrive on time."
Additionally, the culture necessitates hospitality. Friends show up at your door, unannounced, and they are welcomed in, served tea, and invited to stay for dinner. It's not even a question of whether or not the arrival would interrupt other plans. There's no such things as "not a good time." You make time. Every time.
In the past month, I have shown up late to engagements with friends at least twice, each time in an absolute panic. Or friends have been late meeting up with me, and I have not given them the Nigerian fluid-time grace I so desperately wish I would. Correction: the only time this has not been the case was when I had lunch with fellow Minnesotan-in-Nigeria Warren last month. That social interaction was a grace-filled conversation with all the simplicity of breathing. No explanations, conversions, or translations necessary--praise God!
Additionally, I'm nowhere near as hospitable as I could be. I regularly fail to go out of my way for another human being, and that breaks my heart. What does it say about me that a year wasn't long enough to change my behavior? Am I really so culturally susceptible?
I will admit the one habit that has stuck: I still can't really handle malls. If I need clothes, I go directly to the store I want to shop at, get what I need, and walk directly back out to my car. Out of all the habits to stick, though, that's not the one I would have prioritized.
Confession: I looked up tickets to Nigeria yesterday. Delta can get me there for under $1,000. I can't, but I really really want to.
And I thought I was over culture shock. Ha.
2 comments:
Give yourself some grace, my dear. :) I think the wonderful things you picked up from Nigerian culture can definitely be hard to practice in the US, because they are so counter-cultural here. You may not be the same woman you were in Nigeria, but don't doubt that you have changed. You are hospitable to me in my own home, for goodness' sakes! :) (Oh, and thanks for the linky love in your Twitter.) <3
Hey Maggie! (Thanks for the shout-out)
I think it's natural to feel this way about leaving a culture, but when you're having a craving for Nigerian culture that you just can't satisfy, remember that you're looking back at it through the rose-colored lens of nostalgia. Remember that you had bad times where you miss MN when you were in 9ja as well. And I even noticed a change when I was in the States too. I got angry at drivers more than here, and I got more focused on time. I think we all adapt to the culture where we're living.
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